Close Your Eyes
by Rose Fletcher
Summary: An evening spent at the bar. On the way home, it turns into a night Spain will never be able to forget. Spain and Romano. Oneshot. Rated T for Romano's language.


_"Hey Lovi, remember this song?" Toni switches on the radio and a song blasts loudly. It's an old song we used to listen to when I was younger and still lived in his house. My eyes slide closed and I smile despite myself at the memories._

_"You're too loud, I'm trying to sleep."_

_Toni laughs loudly. Too loudly. I glance over at him out of the corner of my eye. His cheeks are red and he has a stupid, reckless grin on his face. _That damn bastardo, _I think. _He drank too much again.

_Toni starts singing along to the music in a low, lilting tone._

_"Shut up you imbecile, I can't even hear myself think."_

_He laughs. The car lurches as his foot slips on the pedals._

_"Whoops," he slurs. "Damn thing."_

_Maybe he's worse than I thought._

_"Slow down you tomato bastard, you're going too fast!"_

_"But I thought you liked going fast, Lovi!" Toni whoops as he purposely speeds up. "Let's see how fast we can go!"_

_"I'm not kidding idiot! Stop being so stupid!"_

_Toni's eyes narrow at me and all of a sudden, he's angry._

_"If you think you're so great, then why don't you leave?" He lashes out at me. "Go on, _Lovino_," he spits out my full name like it's a curse. I'm stunned at hearing it. For the past decade, he's only called me by my nickname, Lovi. "Admit it. You're nothing without me. You couldn't protect yourself if you were alone! You and your brother hardly get along well. Your country's divided!"_

_Strangely, the thing that bothers me the most is that he brought Feliciano into this. I snap at him._

_"That's not true dammit!" My brother and I are just fine. Maybe if I keep telling myself that, it'll be true._

_Toni swears and slows down a fraction. He looks over at me and I think he sees something that makes him pause. "Lovi, I didn't mean that. I-"_

_"Just shut up!" I yell. My hands fly up to my ears to block out his stupid voice. That idiot. I can't possibly be alone except for that bastard, can I?_

_"Lovi-"_

_"Leave me alone!" My voice cracks on the last word. It can't be true. It can't be true._

_"Lovi stop it. You're being-"_

_"Go the hell away!" I'm crying. I can't let him see me cry. Maybe I'm drunk too, but I whip open the door._

_"Lovi!" Toni snaps. He sounds more sober now, a hint of fear lacing his voice. "Stop this and get back in the car!" He swears and slams his foot on the break as a red light swims into view through the raindrop-streaked windshield. I take the chance and jump. My feet hit the ground and pain lances through my ankles. I ignore it and start to run. My feet pound against the asphalt. Lights from headlights and traffic lights paint bright patterns across the raindrops on the pavement in the black night._

_"I hate you! I hate you dammit!" I scream at Toni. I shoot a glance back at him. His face is twisted in an agonized look. I almost trip at that look but I keep going. Let that tomato bastard pay for what he said to me._

_"Lovi!" Toni calls to me. "Come back!" He moves to get out of the car. By now, people are honking at him and yelling at him to drive._

_"I never want to see you again!" I hate how weak that sentence sounds. I hate how my voice squeaks when I say it. I hate how I know I'll regret it later. But most of all, I hate how I know that Toni will see right through it. Right through me._

_I can't help it. I shoot another glance at him over my shoulder. Just in time to see his face twist in fear. I watch his lips move, beginning to form my name. My head whips around and I catch sight of the lights. Green. Green, not red. Green for go. Red for stop. Green for the brilliant eyes I'd known since childhood. Red for the colour that bursts behind my eyelids. Green for the man I'll never see gain. Red for the colour of my blood pooling beneath me._

_"Toni," I want to say one last time. "Toni, I'm sorry."_

_But when I open my mouth, all that comes out is blood._

_A powerful crash rings out in the air, reverberating in my ears and drowning out every other sound._

Toni.

_People. People are rushing around me._

Toni standing over me.

_Voices. Voices crying and yelling and screaming._

"Can't fall asleep, little Romano?"

_Hands. Hands on my head, on my back, on my chest, feeling for a pulse, trying to stop the bleeding._

"You can sleep beside me if you want."

_Black creeps into the corners of my vision, sweeping in on black wings and covering the lights, the people, the voices, the pounding in my head._

Toni.

_I want to see him one last time; to let him know._

Toni, I forgive you.

_My eyes focus on something distant only I can see._

"Just close your eyes, little Romano."

_I feel the hands let go of me, the voices quiet and even the pain go away._

"You'll be asleep soon."

_Sleep. I'm sleeping. That's all._

"Close your eyes."

_And when I wake up, maybe I'll see Toni and tell him I'm sorry._

"Just close your eyes."

* * *

Sirens slice through the still night air. Where is he?

_You're too loud, I'm trying to sleep._

Harsh red and blue lights cut through the black and play patterns across the rain falling in thin sheets. Where am I? Where is he?

_Shut up you imbecile, I can't even hear myself think._

My head is pounding dully, the fingers on my right hand won't move properly and the pain in my right leg is making me sick. Where is he?

_Slow down you tomato bastard, you're going too fast!_

Voices, so many voices, asking if I'm okay. Faces, so many faces, none of them the one I need to see. Where did he go?

_I'm not kidding, idiot! Stop being so stupid!_

The faces blur as I run. Panic settles like a stone in my stomach and crawls up my throat. Pain stabs into my right leg but I keep running. I can't let him go. I can't let those be the last words we said. I can't stop running. I can't. I need to find him. Where did he go?

_That's not true dammit!_

My leg starts to drag but I can't slow down. I can't. I need to find him.

_Just shut up!_

I stop. A red puddle glistens on the asphalt in the harsh light of the sirens. Is that him?

_Leave me alone! _

The voices and faces blur and spin in my periphery.

_Go the hell away!_

Lovi. Lovi.

My vision tunnels until all I see is the red pooling beneath that beautiful head with its beautiful curl and beautiful auburn eyes now lifeless imitations of the ones I knew so well.

_I hate you! I hate you dammit!_

No. This can't be happening. No. Lovi.

_I never want to see you again!_

I fall to my knees. Oh, Lovi.

_I never want to see you again!_

Did you mean those words? Oh, Lovi.

_I hate you! I hate you dammit!_

My head drops in my hands. Tears slide from my eyes and drip drop onto the pavement, mingling with the blood and rain.

_Go the hell away!_

Oh, Lovi. You can't be gone. You can't.

_Leave me alone!_

A keen wailing pierces into my ears as black swirls in my vision.

_Just shut up!_

I take one last breath before the black swallows me whole.


End file.
